So how it’s been – summer of ’18!

Dear Friends,

I realised three things during the last 62 days:

  1. There’s never enough time to spend with your family.
  2. Love (including self-love and self-confidence) is the most important thing in the life.
  3. Little things are meant to be enjoyed, not overlooked. Be grateful for them.

I decided to spend my whole summer break with my family. At first it looked like a bit of a challenge, but later it turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life. I learnt so many things. About them, about me, about life. But furthermore, I finally got to understand what love is.

Nowadays is love often directly linked with lust. It’s a word that have lost its meaning, significance a long time ago. Young couples use expressions such as „I love you“ or „I can’t live without you“ already after a few days of being together. They also link those word to happiness. And when they lost the person they got so attached to, they’re unhappy right away, and they looking for a way, a person, that would make them happy as soon as possible. But that’s not what life is about. Life is not about one particular person. Life is not one particular person. You are the one who can make you happy. You don’t need anyone else to be happy (not being a sociopath though, I’m just talking about being able to feel fine both alone and with a company). But getting to this point of life is quite hard, tho. Everyone has his ups and downs, and sometimes it feels hard to even think about it. But once you get there…it’s a great feeling, you know, feeling so unbound and free. And yet loved, because you’ve learnt to love each other, accept yourself and know your values and abilities along the way. And that’s what my family, actually really unwittingly, helped me with.

The first three days of my summer break I spent with my two best friends in a hut in the hills. I enjoyed all the little things, every aspect of this trip. I’m beyond grateful to have those two in my life, and that we can make so many good memories together.

Then I spent a week with my grandma’s sister in one small village. At first I didn’t intend to spend there more than three days, but I ended up being there for 7 days. My aunt is living alone and she was so happy that I came to see her, that I decided to stay longer right away. There isn’t much to see there, but I enjoyed her cuisine, watching Italian series in the evening with her, and nature paths she recommended me. I also found some great roads for running. It felt so nice to be there with her, she’s so lovely! I’m so grateful to have her in my life, in my family.

Then I was sick…and had to spend a week in my bed, what a pity! Still ill, but feeling at least a bit better, got me, my brother, my mother and my father on 21th of July in our car and went to Slovenia, where we spent a couple of days. Well, I still wasn’t feeling the best and I was not the nicest person to talk to that time (I’m not one nonentheless, hah), but I was happy they didn’t lose nerves with me, hih. It was a hard time for me, got into some senseless arguements, but everything ended up fine! After that we four, along the grandmother, grandfother and another few members of our family spent 8 days in Umag, Croatia. It was the first time after 15 years I could be abroad with my grandparents (last time was when I was 3) and it was so nice! I realised how lucky I am to be able to know them, you know…personally. And that I love them so much. That I love all of them, my whole family so much! After those 8 days we, again only in a foursome, went to the Austria, the Alps and spent there a couple of days. Messy things got fine in the meantime and everything was okay.

Right after arriving back home on 8th of August, there was an annual rock-metal festival in our town, where I went with my father. We’ve finally fixed our relationship and that felt just great! I also met some friends there, too, it was nice to see them again after a month and so.

And afterwards….the Netherlands, for which I was so looking forward to! When I went there two years ago, I was mostly looking forward to travel and see new stuff, which caused astraying in my relationship with my aunt and my cousin. But this year I wanted to fix it, and I was looking forward to see them so much! First few days of the trip I spent with my grandfather in Krupina. I expected it to be a boring beginning of the „trip of my life“, but we ended up enjoying it so much! We explored some spots around Krupina, saw new things…and just the common dinner or watching football together felt nice. Already then I realised the magnificient significance of little „cliché“ things. When he drove me to Schwechat airport, I told him I love him and my grandma so much. It was the first time of my life I said that to anyone, and I’m glad it was  addressed to them two.

The Netherlands…I was actually a bit unsure what to expect. But already after a few moments I was angry with my 2-years-younger self, who cared about new travels more than her own family. Just this time I learnt so many things about both my aunt and cousin, and actually saw how similar we are. Probably too similar, our car rides were so vivid and funny! I’m so grateful to have them in my life, and I’m so grateful I was able to spend with them at least those 8 days this year. They felt really short, as if the day did not have enough hours, but you know….everything needs to end. Now I just hope to see them as soon as possible! This trip felt so…lifechanging I guess, I learnt so many things but mostly, I finally learnt how to love myself. I don’t know how. I honestly don’t know how. Probably it was their presence that got me so hyped and in good mood, and my lonesome bike rides that got me to think about life, and my goals in life to be more particular. They were big role models to me, showed me new ways to look at life itself. I was so sad to leave, I even cried when waving to my aunt at the Schiphol airport.

And then, on the Schwechat, when I saw my grandfather waving at me in the crowd, happy to see me…well, that was probably the moment when I completely realised those three point, mentioned in the beginning of this article. We had a lunch together, and on the way back home, when so many relatives were calling me if I was okay…you know, that’s the best feeling in the life. It’s not being drunk, having sex with someone, being on the place where you always wanted to go (just stating things I heard from other people). It’s about love. It’s about people. Everything is about love. Then come relationships. First you must be completely okay with yourself, only then you can fully accept the love from others and give love to others. It’s not about a place you always wanted to visit. It’s about who you’re there with. Including yourself. Now I feel completely great being both alone and with someone, but during that car ride, when I was receiving calls from my family and texts from my friends…those were the best moments of my life I am so grateful, and that helped me to get to the state of mind I have now.

I hope I came to some kind of conclusion and the minutes you spent reading these were at least a bit worth it.

 

Guys. Be with your family. Be with your friends. Do what you want to do. Enjoy the little things. Be grateful for them. Be grateful for your whole life. And love.

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